Here’s How to Handle the Triggers
Living with your ex post-breakup is, quite honestly, an emotional extreme sport.
If you’re currently navigating this experience, especially with children in the mix, I see you. Every moment is layered, every word exchanged carries a weight, and the emotional charge can feel impossible to avoid.
Whether you initiated the breakup or they did, living under the same roof after a romantic relationship ends is one of the most emotionally complex challenges you can face. And when little ones are watching, everything feels even more heightened.
This post is here to help you soften your breath, gain perspective, and find loving tools to carry yourself through this chapter—without abandoning yourself in the process.
The Breakup Dynamic Matters
💔 If You Were the One Who Broke Up
You might feel a complicated mix of relief, guilt, responsibility, and even grief. While you may feel confident in your decision, it’s still difficult to witness someone you once loved process their pain—especially while you share a space.
You might also be expected to “stay calm” or “be the bigger person,” and the pressure of that can start to wear down even the most grounded soul.
💔 If You Were the One Who Was Broken Up With
The pain can feel more raw—like you’re constantly being re-exposed to the wound. You may be trying to emotionally catch up while still having to manage the logistics of everyday life with someone who feels emotionally out of reach.
Even tiny things—like their tone of voice, a laugh from the other room, or their ability to emotionally detach—can sting deeply.
When Children Are Involved
Having children together brings an entirely new dimension to post-breakup dynamics. You’re not just navigating heartbreak; you’re also trying to protect your children’s emotional world.
You might find yourself:
- Holding back tears during storytime
- Smiling through tense dinners
- Tiptoeing around conflict to avoid distressing your kids
And while you do your best to “keep it together,” the reality is—you’re human. Sometimes it will spill out. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re stretched. It means you care.
What To Do When You’re Triggered
Triggers are inevitable in a situation like this. You may feel sadness, anger, resentment, jealousy—or a cocktail of all of them. What matters most is how you respond when the emotions arise.
Here are some soul-centered, practical tools to support you:
1. Channel the Energy
Your nervous system is doing its best to protect you—but it can only hold so much. Give it an outlet.
- Go for a walk, a run, or do a quick workout
- Journal everything you feel, without editing
- Talk to a trusted friend or therapist
- Cry in the car, the shower, or under your blanket
- Start a project, create something, tidy a drawer—channel the storm
2. Connect with Your Higher Self
Your Higher Self is the calm, wise, grounded version of you who always knows what’s best. She’s not reactive. She’s not panicked. She sees the bigger picture.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask her:
“What would you do in this moment?”
“Help me breathe through this.”
“Show me the way forward.”
Even a few seconds of connecting with her can shift the entire energy of your response.
3. Offer Yourself Compassion
Behind every trigger is a wound. Behind every outburst is a longing.
When you feel activated, try asking yourself:
- What am I really needing in this moment?
- What part of me feels hurt, overlooked, or abandoned?
- What would I say to a friend feeling this way?
Then, speak gently to yourself.
“It makes sense that I feel this way.”
“I’m allowed to feel.”
“This is hard, and I’m doing my best.”
Self-compassion doesn’t eliminate the pain, but it transforms the way you carry it.
Final Thoughts
Living with your ex after a breakup—especially with children involved—is not for the faint of heart. It requires strength, grace, and deep emotional resilience.
But it’s also a potent initiation into self-awareness, emotional maturity, and spiritual growth. This season won’t last forever—but the tools you develop now will serve you for a lifetime.
So take the walk. Cry if you need to. Connect with your Higher Self. Speak gently to your heart. And remember: you are not alone.
You are growing stronger with every breath.
You are healing—even when it’s messy.
You are finding your way back to yourself.
And you are doing it beautifully.
Want more support like this?
🌿 Join The SoulChimes Circle, my online community for women navigating healing, heartbreak, and deep transformation. Together, we rise.
